Hope 2019, I’m Living. R2C advised you to read my thread (see above).
First I’m sending you a big virtual hug. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I know how difficult this is.
I don’t have long to post because I have a few errands to run but I will definitely be back.
However I did read your thread. I hate to say that I agree with whoever (at the present time I can’t remember) said that perhaps your H got cold feet after the M. You all have been M a little over a year and he’s already acting this way? I wonder if he regrets getting M because he wasn’t truly ready. This still isn’t an excuse for his behavior.
If I could give you one piece of advise it would be to STOP the snooping. Trust me when I say sometimes when you go looking for something, you find it. Then when we find that something we can’t emotionally handle it. It crushes us inside. So do yourself a favor and stop snooping on him.
Listen, I’m no expert. I still make mistakes with DB and GAL, I think that everyone who is here does. I also believe that even the vets did. This sh@t is hard, so don’t beat yourself up. Just take things one day at a time. Be kind to yourself. But again by all means, don’t go looking for something that you’ll wish you didn’t find.
The vets are spot on, the only thing you can do is give your H space right now. You can’t beg, cry, persuade, influence, or force him to do anything. The only person you have control over is you.
I know it’s hard, believe me I do, I’m currently living it. But guess what I’m doing, I’m LIVING. Take this time to improve and work on you. Trust me when I say that these people on this forum know what they are talking about. I’ve implemented many of the suggestions and advice I’ve been given. It always amazes me how it works like a charm.
Take care of you, take care of your kids, work on improving you, and leave him to his mess.
I hope that helps. I’ll be back soon!
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
