Isn’t exposing me to STDs and emotionally abandoning me abuse?
Yes, it's abusive.
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I would put a lot of energy on the attorney and find out what your rights are and protect your assets and property and accounts- Because the MLC has addictions in place, there is no guarantee they wont blow through all the money The people they choose will also help them spend- My XH spent quite a bit and I was very shocked and unaware
Yes, this! Just because you seem more comfortable financially right now because he's paying the bills, doesn't mean it's safe. I've seen many LBSs here find out later that their WAS his finances from them, ran up debts in their name, drained savings accounts of kids' college accounts etc. Consult with an attorney and find out how to protect yourself financially. This is job number one. You can't count on him not to make very bad decisions financially and at your age it would be very difficult to recover from. Protect your share of the assets and also find out what your financial picture in divorce will likely look like so you can begin to make plans. In fact, there's an argument to be made for divorcing sooner rather than later, while he's still feeling guilty and possibly more inclined to offer you a good deal. (And remember, a divorce is just a piece of paper, a business transaction - nothing about being divorced would keep him from coming back IF he was so inclined.)
Also - if he DOES show signs of wanting to come back - don't settle for less than him going to a full on 12 step sex addiction program.If he's not willing to do that and confront his demons you would never be able to trust him again.
Don't put your life on hold for him, whatever you do. Get out there and LIVE. You have no control over whether he comes to his senses or not and you shouldn't waste precious years focusing on him when you could be out there living your dreams. A lot of space opens up when our spouses leave to do things we couldn't before. What do you dream of doing? What dreams have you deferred because of him?
