Still in limbo

[Living]

Journaling,

I have some great days lately (been working out and slowly dropping the pounds) and a few that weren’t so great.

H should return from his ‘guys gone wild’ trip tomorrow.

While he’s been away we have had very little contact with each other. A call here and a few text messages there. There were some days where he text messaged me and I waited hours to respond. I didn’t want him to think I was sitting around waiting for his call. Although, there were a couple of days where I didn’t hear anything from him at all. I will admit that I feel some kind of way about that. However, I know I can’t control his behavior...only mine.

I’ve been bitter also about the fact that I know very little about his trip. He’s shared minimal info. What I know is the guys he went with (he’s posted pics) and where he went. But I didn’t get hotel info or anything. That may sound controlling but in the past my H would never have taken a trip and not provided that info.

I know I know...my H isn’t the M that I married. I’m slowly swallowing that pill...even though I’m choking a bit. Lol.

I will admit that I’ve also been a little in my feelings about him taking a 2-week trip when our M is in duress. No worries I won’t tell him that I’m bitter about his trip. I know this is my safe place to share the good, band and in between. When he comes back I’m going to be walking around acting as if I’m happy as a lark.

Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now.