LB, I agree with R2C, I think you're trying to talk to your W way too much when you should just be letting it all filter through your L. She may change and become less confrontational somewhere down the road but it's not going to happen anytime soon. Contact should be limited to strictly discussing the kids.
Originally Posted by LB55
The numbers are pretty absurd, she just doesn't understand the concept that her choice to file for D means that she no longer receives my income, and that she doesn't continue to get a free ride. She is asking for $5100 AFTER the mortgages are paid. Free spending money. Says she needs all of it just to get by. She wants me out of her life, wants me out of the kids' lives, yet wants my income to keep rolling in. Not going to happen
I'm sure she knows she's not going to get it all, but her approach is to go for as much as she can and hope she can get most of it.
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She has accused me of squeezing her financially. Yes, I am doing that.
No you're not, this is all her doing. She has handled this whole thing in the most vile, despicable manner and any fallout from it is 100% on her shoulders.
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I am paying child support to ensure they aren't destitute. I won't pay spousal support until the amount is agreed upon.
Have you been ordered by the court to pay anything yet? If not I wouldn't be paying her a cent based on her complete lack of sympathy or remorse or interest in working with you on ANYTHING. If she can't afford the kids then fine she can turn them over to you. If she wants you to give her money out of the goodness of her heart then she can work with you on visitation. Quit giving her everything when she is giving you nothing (unless you've been court-ordered).
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She is so used to me yielding to her and her needs, that every time I stand up for myself and set a boundary, I am perceived as demanding and unwilling to see things from her perspective.
I doubt that's her perception, I think she is engineering everything to suit her needs. She knows you're not being "demanding" or unfair but she is going to play the victim card whenever possible to try and coerce you into doing what SHE wants you to do. She's trying to control and manipulate you, and she's largely getting away with it.
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I want to have an open and communicative relationship through this process
That's just not going to happen. You need to treat her as the enemy for now, because that's how she's treating you. So you need to protect yourself.
