So last night, both as good as you could hope for but also disappointing. From my perspective, I couldn't have done anything more. I looked gorgeous (several people told me so), my talk went down really well, excellent feedback. I had lots of positive male attention, if that doesn't get dh's attention nothing will...I introduced dh to my friends and made sure I looked after him as much as I could, talked him up to my friends and touched his arm a few times. I left a bit early so dh could go to bed because he was beyond exhausted and drove him home. It was apparent that he really wanted to sleep alone so I didn't make a fuss, I figured I wouldn't sleep well with all the adrenaline of the event anyway (and I didn't). He came downstairs while I was brushing my teeth and gave me a hug goodnight and said how well I'd done. This morning he asked me to make him a coffee and asked politely for a lift to the station. We had a chat in the car. He seems utterly burnt out, hasn't been sleeping and has been working crazily hard without a break since Christmas (and then he didn't have that much time off).
I feel better now but also sad. I've done everything I can but I can't take this stuff personally. His job is killing him and it needs him to wake up and see that (which he might never do). At some stage I'll get sick of waiting and move on, because I can't live without quality time and physical touch, but I will give it a few more months to see if he gets his act together. If he can't, and all the work I've put into building our connection hasn't worked, then at least I'll know I've done my utmost.
