as I look back on my dating periods, I was so happy and enjoying life that I didn't have to try to attract women. I went out and had fun and they came to me. People who are desperate usually show it and it doesn't work out so well. Since you are comfortable with yourself, now start doing tons of things that bring you enjoyment and the women will follow.
As for maintaining your integrity and taking the high road, I think that speaks truckloads about your character. Good for you man. And having a buddy stay with you and help you like that is awesome. You see, there are people out there who appreciate who you are, and you'll be just fine.
I do feel appreciated by my support system, and I'm thankful that I have them.
A couple of things I've been thinking about--things that were hard for me to get through. One is fear. Not fear that my life is going to suck. I have two wonderful daughters, great family and friends, a great job, etc. I'm blessed in so many ways. I'm also comfortable being alone. It was more the fear that my XW will find somebody better than me. It's hard, but I think this has taught me humility. If my XW finds happiness with somebody else, it will be a shot to my ego. However, it will prove her right that there was somebody else better for her. Is that such a bad thing? Not for anything except my pride.
The other thing was doing things while thinking about how it might affect my XW. Going no contact? Maybe that will let her feel how it will be without me. Keeping contact? Maybe she will see my changes. Maybe that goes to NGS and covert contracts. Letting go is hard but necessary.
Do what feels right for you. I stated above that I've decided to stay classy because that is what feels right for me. I don't think there are hard rules, and I think sitches with WW (rather than WAW) wives are different in many ways.
I understood GAL and 180s. Equally as important is letting go (detaching) and living without fear.
It was more the fear that my XW will find somebody better than me. It's hard, but I think this has taught me humility. If my XW finds happiness with somebody else, it will be a shot to my ego. However, it will prove her right that there was somebody else better for her. Is that such a bad thing? Not for anything except my pride.
There will always be someone better looking than you, someone smarter than you, someone who earns more or has a better job than you. If she meets someone else and you are looking for the answers to the 'why did she leave me' question then you will find it (whether that be looks, money, career). I know if my H dated someone who was blonde, my instinctual response would be I am not "blonde" enough. If he started dating someone who was younger than me, my response would be "I am too old". I will always focus on something they have that I do not. Whilst knowing this will not change the instinctual response (I am not [insert whatever it is they have that I don't] enough) but it will mean that once the gut response passes, I will be able to ask the more important questions ... Is this person a good person?, are they someone I would want to have around my children?.
Last edited by job; 03/25/1910:00 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
