Don't do or say anything if emotions are running high, like if you confront her about OM, etc.
I doubt she will leave, but here's what I would do if I were in your shoes.
I would tell her that I will not remain in an open MR or settle for an IHS. If OM continues to be in the picture in any way, I will make preparations to legally end our M. I would tell her I prefer that she left and stayed somewhere else, rather in the home. If she insists on staying here until the D is final, it will not be with the options she previously suggested. I won't play happy family when in the house with her. I won't escort her to events, including friends/family. We won't be attending anything "together", or doing things "as a family". We each go our separate way. I will put the house up for sell, and we can evenly split whatever is left after debts are paid off.
Now, that is what I would say, but this is your life, Anthony, not mine. I don't think the option of a separation is going to help this situation, but that's my opinion. I believe tough love is in order here. With that said, don't try to bluff her. You have to mean what you say. Don't say it like a threat. Just say it calmly. Using a calm voice is more effective than an emotional one.
Sandi are you saying to not recommend legal separation and threaten straight up divorce? That is what my attorney advised. I don’t want to lose the chance to reconcile but I have been leaning towards doing that as I am tired of the cake eating. I will be talking to another attorney Friday but need to focus on either divorce or legal separation. I understand the tough love but I know she is not interested in D at the moment but if I only give her that option , I would be curious how she would respond. Based on your experience with the tough love approach, what do you think the normal reaction is for a WW to do?
I am prepared to go down that path. A divorce takes up to a year in Ohio. Just curious what she would think or do in that situation.
