WAW says I'm the "perfect husband and partner"

[Jamine]

In your spare time while you are away from home, you might purchase a little book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I think you will see yourself within those pages. Unless there is some mental issue with your W, I can almost guarantee you that the root of the problem is that she has lost a certain amount of respect for you as a man. You may have a fantastic job that supplies every material thing she could want. However, if you've allowed her to wear the pants in the relationship, then she has lost attraction for you. That's how it works. Women are designed emotionally to where they have to feel respect for the H, in order to feel attraction/desire for him. Although a woman likes and wants emotional needs met by the H, he cannot coddle her to the point he is in more of a subservient position in the MR. Make sense?

As soon as I finish The Divorce Remedy I'll pick that up. Our relationship dynamic has shifted drastically after 1st BD, I became much more needy and emotional, started having panic attacks, severe depression, etc. We BOTH became much more dependent on each other when we moved far away from our friends and family, but over the last year she has started pulling away, requesting more space, going on more trips with her girlfriends.

How have things been in the bedroom for the last couple of years (maybe longer)? Be honest, we're all friends here.

That's a complicated question. Our sex life has certainly dwindled over the last two or so years, but we almost always reach the target together. W's become very controlling in the bedroom, getting visibly angry when I do anything "out of script", and essentially ordering me around. This has definitely impacted my experience, and I've tried to discuss it with W, but she really places all of the dissatisfaction on my shoulders.

Before this situation came from her recent trip, how would she usually act when you were away from each other?

We would generally talk on the phone daily, or at least text message multiple times. She would send me sweet messages, sometimes pictures. It felt very natural to me.

That's great, Jamine. How long has it been since you've felt like yourself?

I've been very depressed for the last 6 months, and TBH it's hard to remember. Probably not in the last two or so years. I should have started IC a while ago.

I think you previously said something about struggling with not enough confidence. Do you know why this is a struggle for you? Would you say your W builds your confidence by showing admiration, or does she tear you down by critical remarks?

She used to show me admiration constantly - she was almost obsessed with me. She'd stare at me all the time and constantly tell me how amazing, smart, good looking, I was. There's been a gradual shift over the past year or so, with more tearing down remarks, but not exclusively or anything. Before 2nd BD she was starting to seem more like herself and was very supportive.