Settling In (LB55 Thread 3)

[LB55]

Man LB, I just want to offer some support. I seriously want to puke every time I read the custody, child support, and alimony number you're throwing out there.

I've gotten stuff from goodwill too. It's not bad at all!

Thanks for the support. The numbers are pretty absurd, she just doesn't understand the concept that her choice to file for D means that she no longer receives my income, and that she doesn't continue to get a free ride. She is asking for $5100 AFTER the mortgages are paid. Free spending money. Says she needs all of it just to get by. She wants me out of her life, wants me out of the kids' lives, yet wants my income to keep rolling in. Not going to happen.

She has accused me of squeezing her financially. Yes, I am doing that. She is welcome to get a job if she needs more money. I am paying child support to ensure they aren't destitute. I won't pay spousal support until the amount is agreed upon. This is the only angle I have to get her to negotiate on other items like time with the kids. It stinks to have to do it that way, but because of the way this has played out, its the only position of power that I can play from.

She is so used to me yielding to her and her needs, that every time I stand up for myself and set a boundary, I am perceived as demanding and unwilling to see things from her perspective. Example: "I was lied to multiple times in this process; I do not trust your word. In order to be able to trust you, the 'misunderstandings', lies, and twisted words must stop. I want to have an open and communicative relationship through this process, but right now I must protect myself legally and emotionally." W: "Its not my fault you can't trust me, its yours. You need to be more responsible for your emotions and stop blaming me for your problems. I know you are angry, but don't blame me for your anger."