Well last night I overheard a conversation with my D and W. My daughter was very upset and talking to my W about us getting a divorce and much it bothers her. My W was so cold to her and told her she has to deal with it and that there was nothing she could do. Which is ridiculous because she is the one who wants it. It’s so sad to See how devastated my daughter is about this and my W doesn’t care about how she feels.
I imagine your W cares very much. WAW's are masters of "acting as if". They may look cold and detached on the outside but inside there is a lot of turmoil and confusion and hurt. They want everyone around them to just act like everything is fine because that makes it easier on them. But then when people don't then they can get quite angry. But don't be confused by that, inside she is in pain.
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I am DBing but it doesn’t seem to have an effect on her. I know that people say patience but this is tearing me up emotionally.
After a month? Where were you led to believe DB'ing would turn things around that fast? I think Michele's books and all of us here are quite clear that this is a marathon and requires a lot of patience.
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Do the vets still think she is speaking in absolute negatives or that she really means it?
She means it, but we say not to believe it because she only means it at this moment in time. That can change in an hour or a day or week or month or year.
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I am so upset over this because she has told me she has noticed my changes but says I should have done this sooner.
They all say it's "too little too late". That's WAS script.
