Welcome to the MLC Forum! People who post on all of the forums have experienced the monsters of MLC and WAS. It's not an easy journey, but over time, things will become a bit more clearer for you. Read the homework that Cadet has provided and start visiting the other threads on the forum. You will begin to see many of the same traits in each thread. Each MLCer will experience some of the same traits of others, but because of childhood issues and personalities, each will be unique. How long does it take? It has been said 5-7 years, but it will take as long as it takes for her to work through her crisis. Some do not come out of it and they will behave as teenagers for the rest of their lives because they don't want to face their issues and accept what they could not change and grow up. Time will tell where she is.
When going through the stages of MLC, they are not moving in a linear fashion. They can bounce back and forth from anger all the way to withdrawal and back again. MLC's main ingredient is depression. MLC is all about going back the time in their childhood lives whereby they were emotionally stunted by someone.
While they are in replay, they will begin to experience the very deep, dark depression and withdrawal. Replay is where they act out as teenagers and do the things that they once did. This is the stage where they have to do the "one more time" things in life.
MLC is not a sprint, it is a marathon. It is a journey for both of you. She needs to go back and face those demons and accept that she was not at fault for whatever happened and begin to move forward and grow up, emotionally and mentally. As for your journey, it is a time to rediscover YOU! It is a time to do those things that you've not been able to do for a long time. Make a list of things that you put aside and begin to work on them. It's a time to make changes for you, if you think you need to make changes. Changes should be only for you and not to win her back.
As to whether you wait on move on, that is a decision only you can make. However because you are asking the question, I would venture to say that you aren't ready to move on. For now, continue to move forward and keep the focus on you!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
