WAW says I'm the "perfect husband and partner"

[sandi2]

Enjoying life while going through M problems can be very challenging. However, the people who survived healthily, said that GAL was key. Focus on what you enjoy. Keep your calendar full. Listen to upbeat music and watch motivational Youtube videos. Whatever inspires you and keeps your spirit up.,.....your primary goal needs to be YOU. That may sound selfish, but I'm just telling you what works. The more focus you put on your W, the more depressed you will become.

You are going to hear several things that will probably sound completely opposite to what you've always heard to do to have a good MR. You are no longer in that former place of doing things to just build a good MR with your W. By the time people come to the board, the M is in serious trouble and it usually requires counterintuitive actions to save it.

In your spare time while you are away from home, you might purchase a little book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. I think you will see yourself within those pages. Unless there is some mental issue with your W, I can almost guarantee you that the root of the problem is that she has lost a certain amount of respect for you as a man. You may have a fantastic job that supplies every material thing she could want. However, if you've allowed her to wear the pants in the relationship, then she has lost attraction for you. That's how it works. Women are designed emotionally to where they have to feel respect for the H, in order to feel attraction/desire for him. Although a woman likes and wants emotional needs met by the H, he cannot coddle her to the point he is in more of a subservient position in the MR. Make sense?

Some men actually brag how they spoil their W, but if she is not appreciative and admires him as a man........then spoiling her is not a good thing. I can't get over how many H's go home from work to their stay at home W (who has not lifted a finger to get anything done) and proceeds to do all the chores b/c he doesn't want his W to have to do it. What? These guys are just asking for trouble! Do you see what I'm saying? Some of these guys actually thought they were showing love by letting the W lay around all day while the man worked and then went home to everything there. Maybe none of this applies to your situation. It's just an example.

Some men become a "Yes, Dear" type of H. They think going along with whatever she says is the way to keep her happy. Of course, this means he doesn't stand up for himself, and he pretty much just lets her call the shots, right or wrong. He would never call her out about her bad treatment. If you want to kill attraction dead its tracks........that's the way to do it.

How have things been in the bedroom for the last couple of years (maybe longer)? Be honest, we're all friends here.

Before this situation came from her recent trip, how would she usually act when you were away from each other?

Yesterday I really didn't think I could do this. Today is better; I feel more like myself, and CONFIDENT.

That's great, Jamine. How long has it been since you've felt like yourself?

I think you previously said something about struggling with not enough confidence. Do you know why this is a struggle for you? Would you say your W builds your confidence by showing admiration, or does she tear you down by critical remarks?