Depression - an understandable side effect of being a LBS - puts a big damper on libido and general enjoyment of things. If you're feeling "meh" about dating, evaluate whether you might be depressed.
If not, then it just might be an unwillingness to be vulnerable again.
I think for me it is more the latter. I certainly do not feel depressed. There are ups and downs of course but, for the most part, I feel pretty good.
I don't feel like it is a libido issue. I am definitely frustrated if you catch my drift but don't feel like just going out to hook up right now. That's not even really me actually.
P....I remember when I first started dating I was all excited then I guess maybe reality set in or who knows what but now it has changed for me. I don’t feel that I am depressed, maybe not completely over my D, maybe afraid to be vulnerable again, I don’t know. I am coming up on 1 yr of it being final and 2 years since my Xw left. I feel the engine starting to fire at times but at other times it doesn’t. I guess just be patient with yourself.
I don't know from the post-D woman's perspective, but from the post-D man's view do the women just start coming out of the woodwork or is did I just have the husband blinders on before? At times I feel like chum in shark infested water, and this is a very new feeling I am not used to.
Yes there is no question about it. I have been propositioned by several under sexed middle age married women. I have always gotten attention from women but nothing like I get now. I have had 3 no strings attached encounters in the last 7 months.
Originally Posted by Twofeet
However, I am starting to just feel "meh" about all this potential dating and intimate R in general. Did this happen to anyone? I mean I have already had the opportunity to date a few women without even trying, but as I alluded to I am not ready. I just haven't been feeling the interest in dating even though the women are very interesting. The initial excitement in the idea of it all is just gone.
TF, you have to give yourself a break, less then six months ago you were happily married (in your mind). Dating after D goes through stages. At first it OLD is really exciting you are like a kid in a candy store. Then reality sets in and you realize that it is not like ordering out of a catalog. There is a lot of deceit where people are not who they advertise, ghosting and sometimes if everything checks out there is no connection. I live in the east so in January and February I was like it's too cold I don't feel like going out in the cold to meet someone who may or may not look like their pictures. I have been on 13 OLD dates and only wanted a second date once. I am not sure if I am too picky, if I am not ready for a commitment or am just happy being alone.
Originally Posted by Twofeet
Some aspects of life from a post-D lens just isn't that great anymore. Maybe I am being naive.
Listen you went from BD to D Han Solo in the Millennium Falcon style. Life after D is 1,000 times better then being in limbo and living with a person that wants out.
You need to start a thread. I bet it would be just as popcorn worthy as the adventures of J9 aka the big smoothie.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
P....I remember when I first started dating I was all excited then I guess maybe reality set in or who knows what but now it has changed for me. I don’t feel that I am depressed, maybe not completely over my D, maybe afraid to be vulnerable again, I don’t know. I am coming up on 1 yr of it being final and 2 years since my Xw left. I feel the engine starting to fire at times but at other times it doesn’t. I guess just be patient with yourself.
TBSakaJ9,
There was a psychology study that was done a long time ago; they found that, when people are presented with lots of choices, they often have difficulty making a decision and flounder in the sea of options. I think OLD is kind of like that. OLD provides a never-ending supply of options and that can lead to burnout. Maybe it's a good time to take a break and do some GAL instead. Who knows, you might meet someone you like whilst enjoying the activities you like.
