Wolfman, first and foremost, DBing isn't about having an effect on her. It is about having an effect on you! You can DB. You can climb a mountain. You can get the earth to stop spinning. None that may have any impact on your W and on your MR. The problem with LBSs is the come here looking for a magic bullet. They think DB might be it. DB is no guarantee. But what DB does guarantee is that you will be ready for the next relationship in your life, whether that is with your W or someone else.

Yes you have to accept that you may end up D'd. You have no control over that. It takes 2 to make a marriage, 1 to make a D. So no matter what you do, if she ends up wanting D that is what will happen.

Do we think she means what she says? No way to know. I can tell you that at this stage lots of WASs typically are trying to convince themselves as much as anyone else. But that doesn't matter. She says she's seen your changes but it is too late. That doesn't matter. You might be right about there being an OM. But even that doesn't matter.

What matters is that you focus on YOU. That you control what you can control, YOU. There really are only two options: Pursuit and pressure. Or DBing. The former has almost no chance of working. The latter has a chance, maybe not a great chance, but more of a chance than the other choice. But what DBing guarantees is that it saves YOU.

Lots of us here come from various results AnotherStander ended up divorced. I ended up saving my MR. But guess what, AS is in just as happy, fulfilled, and good place in his life as I am. What DBing teaches you is that you are going to be okay, no matter what. That your life won't come to an end if you get D'd. That there is life after your sitch, regardless of outcome.

So Wolfman, how is GAL coming? Why were you overhearing this conversation rather than off being busy? I know you've been doing well with your 180s. But you obviously have a lot of work to do on detachment. This shouldn't upset you, it should embolden you to double down on DBing and take your life back.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018