It's hard, isn't it - when 'stuff' isn't just stuff but means so much more than that. I can see that sometimes relatively minor things (like the time I forgot to put out the bins and H ignored me for 12 solid days) weren't just about the thing itself - but also about his need for respect, consideration, being thought of, having the things that were important to him be important to me. It's a hard field to navigate especially when you're living with someone who doesn't really take the things that are important to you into account. Like you, I am glad to be out of that situation and plan never to go back to it.
Big day today for you. It's good you have a plan for restful sleep. I suppose the most important thing here is to keep your expectations low (I know you are missing sex). Perhaps if it's a good experience and goes well, then you're getting closer to the time when you can ask H to stay over once a week or so? I know that was something you wanted and were picking the right time to ask for.
