We talked tonight and here is what I more or less found out and what happened:
[list] * She has not talked to any L * She has not talked to any mediators * She has only emailed that online divorce site * She has no idea whatsoever what a divorce entails * She has no idea financially what her rights are * She has no idea the financial impact on the kids that is about to happen * She has not thought about where she will live - but said I could have the house (to which I replied have you thought about the refi cost + child support + all the bills and if I can even afford our forever home we just bought for the kids on my own?) *She did not retort my comment that (I and the kids are not oblivious and with her leaving every weekend to see her boyfriend they are starting to pick and choose me for pretty much everything now) - Note: no talk of EA/PA or OM has come up but she did not retort this statement at all tonight! But my kids are both choosing me over her for pretty much everything lately as she is only concerned with herself and making herself happy.
She definitely looked overwhelmed when I asked her for this info, for what she wanted, who would have kids on Christmas, what if a kid is sick and cant go to school, etc. I told her to do her research. Talk to mediators - send me 2 or 3 for me to choose from. Talk to a L. Educate herself. I told her next time we talk she better come to the table having done her research and knowing at the very least her ideal parenting plan.She asked for help and I said "No, WW, you fired me as a husband. As I told you a month ago - it takes 2 to get married but only 1 to divorce. I don't agree with it - especially since you did not try at all (said she would go to my IC but bailed - twice!)- but I will not stop you from doing whatever you think you have to do. I do however request that you do what is best for the kids and do your own research. I am not going to help you. You fired me."
Overall I think I handled it fairly well but I did get heated at the end. I think I could have done better at that. She did look like she was about to cry almost, and blurted out 'this is why we are not compatible anymore' after I asked her if we were done talking for tonight. I had to refrain from all the responses I was going to give, and just walked away.
