It's true, it is such a struggle. I'm so frustrated with this situation, as we all are. I find I need to refocus my mind several times a day. Mostly I focus on what my next steps are for me. What do I want to accomplish in my life, and I try to focus on that. I try so hard not to focus on W because she is not something I can control.
But when it comes to my W I also remember that I wasn't wrong in choosing her to be my partner. I didn't make a mistake. I still think marrying her was the best thing I ever did. It just may not have been forever. That part remains to be seen.
When I remember the first 9 years I know in my gut we will find our way back to each other again. When I remember the past few months I know we will not. So my head is still in limbo despite W's calmly firm words. My heart wants to see the future so I can potentially close it up and protect it. I insist that it stay open a while longer.
Have you read War and Peace? I did once several years ago. I just recently purchased it so I could read it again. I love Tolstoy. But what I remember most from reading it the first time was the Epilogue. I personally do not believe in God, but after reading the whole book and the Epilogue I remember looking up and thinking, "Oh my gosh. He just proved the existence of God through logic". Now, I don't know if I read it correctly the first time. I could be mis-remembering. But I do remember that Tolstoy brings forward the meaning to life through this specific work. BUT you have to read the whole thing - all of War & Peace - in order to read the Epilogue.
So that's the next method I will use to refocus my thoughts and emotions.
