Into the Fire (LB55 thread 2)

[LB55]

I have been busy getting things in order, haven't been on here much.

Got my new place, have been slowly moving furniture in and hitting the local goodwill for key items for the kitchen so I can cook and eat. Its difficult when you get up at 430am and don't get home until 630 most nights to get a lot done.

Got a washer and dryer this weekend, found a nice set on craigslist, got them moved in and hooked up and washed clothes. I really don't enjoy Laundromats, so that was a very good thing.

My W is still just being her. I have attempted some open communication, which pretty much has gotten me nowhere. I know that was the likely outcome, but figured I would try. Not relationship stuff, mostly just me showing her in the only way that I can that I am not willing to back down from my position. I told her that I have been lied to, and that I cannot trust her right now. She replied about how this is all my fault, I am in violation of the temp orders(which still aren't approved or filed), if I could just take responsibility for my emotions and my actions then she could communicate better with me. If i would just deposit my paycheck into the joint account that she would be less stressed. That depositing my check elsewhere violated the restraining order. That i am projecting my behaviors on to her and that is why she appears angry. It took 2 lengthy emails to tell me that, the first one was ended at 10000 characters, and then next continued most of another 10000. She is very wrapped up in value of things right now. Like the value of a cutting board or a sleeping bag. Needs to be split evenly she says. Good Lord. Does she want half of the 5 rolls of pennies I have in my nightstand?

Says she moved all my stuff out to help me, and poor her, she had to buy all new furniture and that is my fault because she is just trying to make me happy. Nonsense.

She says that negotiation requires compromise on both parties. I agree it does.
I asked for a mid week visit with the kids. No.
I asked for 3 extra hours on a Saturday to have dinner with the kids. No.
I asked to take the kids for a weekend to visit my family. No.
I asked to come to the house and get some things. No.

Nice negotiation tactics, W. Terrorist I tell you! Says I am too demanding in my tone.

Right now I am just trying to get the taxes done. She is ok with married filing jointly, as long as she doesn't have to talk to me and I do all the work. I want to hire a tax attorney and have him file suit against her and her business for 2/3 of the tax prep fees. Likely won't, but its what I want to do. How am I supposed to do her business taxes with no info? She says I can email her and she will reply to my question. That will only take a month of Sundays.

She told me that I need to follow the temp orders. I simply replied that they are not orders until both sides approve of them and they are filed with the court. Right now they are just a .pdf document. Says neither of us understands the legal stuff and it will just work itself out. I said i am crystal clear on the process. She replies that they aren't negotiable. I am letting my lawyer deal with it. I told my L that me going to the house and collecting my things is not optional. W is still very against it, she is hiding something, probably a new man living there. She wants a list so she can just take the items to storage and I can pick them up there. Not going to happen.

She said she missed her ski vacation because she didn't have any money. It was on the 17th of Feb, she demanded a bunch of money on the 15th. Makes sense to me why she was demanding it. Don't believe anything they say, I know, but I am taking a bit of solace in standing firm on not paying until I have approved orders. Also said she couldn't have an expensive party for my D8 for her birthday. Consequences of your choice. I made my D a cake with my goodwill finds, it turned out great. Vanilla with chocolate frosting and raspberry filling. One fork, one knife, two baking pans, a mixing bowl, and a plate. Add the ingredients and voila! W was surprised when I dropped the kids off and they came home with half of a cake.

I have read NMMNG and a book about not being co-dependent anymore. Both were good reads, going to start them over again and see what I get the second time.

Went out with some friends last night and played shuffleboard, that was good. Good to get out for a night and away from moving furniture or cooking dinner. Cooking for 1 stinks, but I cannot eat out every night. I will get fat and lose my skills.

Donated a ton of my old clothes to goodwill, they didn't fit right, didn't look right, and were just plain old. Slowly getting a few more clothes that are well fitting and modern, yet still me.

I think less about her now, still a fair amount, but less. I am less angry with her, mostly just hurt from being lied to and I am completely unable to trust her right now. From all the misunderstandings, lies, misleading and contradictory statements she has made, I just cannot trust anything she says right now. Its sad. I trusted her with everything for so long. Its hard to not tell her how I feel.