This is a hard topic and i don’t necessarily think there is an answer. It’s what feels right to you.
I have been honest at an age appropriate level with my son. And when he’s older and asks more questions I will continue to be honest. I feel like I have nothing to hide and I do not want to be dishonest in order to protect my ex’s actions from my son. I always act in a way that I think is best for my son. I do not say nasty things about my ex. I make sure things run smoothly for their visits. But I want to be honest.
My ex’s mother lied to my ex so that he never knew about their marital issues, about his dad leaving them and the coming back later etc. He thought that the way his mom and dad were was healthy and normal. he thought his dad was out provdiding for them. But I wonder what that type of secrecy does, cause as a young kid he had to have questions, he had to have known something was off.. I don’t want a repeat in patterns.
Again, everyone is different. My son knows my ex left me, not him. That my ex has problems and that’s why he left us and doesn’t see him as much as other dads see their kids. That when he grows up he will never leave his kids
