It has to be the realization that she will lose me if she doesn't
So if she doesn't, is she going to lose you? Or are you going to try the next tactic to get her to change?
Believe it or not lusa, what we are trying to point out to you, is you are still trying to control her. You have to drop that rope. You have to move on emotionally and mentally before you ever have a chance to move on physically. You said out loud in her presence yesterday "I want a divorce". Then you admit that you didn't really want a divorce.
I am not trying to beat you up here. But until she sees you moving on, really moving on, she will only feel that you are trying to manipulate and control her. And WASs/WSs will buck against that 99.999% of the time.
Do you think a man is ready to divorce his W if he is still keeping tabs on who she is in contact with? AS, when you made the choice to move ahead with D did you give a flying Wallenda who she was messaging? Of course not. When you say "do you think we'll have a 16th anniversary?" do you think that will make her think you are moving on or still attached? When you confront her about messaging some guy with kissing faces, do you think she will think "wow, he is moving on!" or will she think "I still have him by the short curlies if he is still keeping tabs on who I message!" Did you read my story about my W? How she openly rebelled against my having spyware on her computer, and didn't move back to the MR until after I uninstalled it and told her she was free to do whatever she wanted?
lusa, you are holding on so tight while trying to convince yourself that you can let go. You are like me the first time I budgie jumped, I grabbed that padding around the cable for dear life. You have to learn to swan dive with your hands stretched out wide.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
