I think it's rude to make you wait for an answer. Maybe she's paying you back for making her wait when you waited a couple of days to respond to her text. If you don't hear back in an appropriate time period. you need to find you something else to do to that night you wanted to take her out. Should she call you at the last minute again with some excuse, or if she wants to reschedule the date, I think my suspicious nature would rapidly rise. I'm pretty sure I would have another engagement during the time she suggests. She doesn't need to think you are home waiting to hear from you. Neither is it acceptable for her to contact you while you are on your way there when she calls and tries to sort of get out of the date. I mean......what's that all about? She needs to get in or out, but stop playing around. You aren't going to waste valuable time on a female that wants to play.these types of games.
Sandi, I am continuing to move on without her. I have GAL plans for all three nights I was available (more detail to come). As far as the waiting game goes, the first time we had a gap in communication was the day I was dealing with an emotional issue that rocked me to my core and set me back for a couple of days. I was in no condition to chat/flirt/etc. with her. From then on, I have made myself semi-available. I have stuff to do as well. I did my part and called her and asked her out. Either way it goes, I take the good memories and experiences and build on that.
For all intents and purposes, my chances with this woman are over.
And for the previous two failed date attempts, I went out and still had a good time without her. A no-call date is not going to ruin my night.
Originally Posted by sandi2
I hope you will google what R2C sent and watch the video. He made some clear remarks that made me think of you.
I saw the video and I'll watch it again to get more details. I got a "keep trying until you pass" mentality from it. I am going to keep trying.
Originally Posted by sandi2
Have a good night's sleep and wake up to a good day. You will decide if it is positive or not. I want to ask you one more thing before closing tonight. Who are you doing all these changes for? If they are for you, then why do have expectation from others. Is it your reward for the hard work you've put into reinventing your self and you want it recognized--------in particular someone of the feminine species who will be impressed or charmed by you enough to desire you company. If something happens that she must council the date......don't start giving yourself the third degree and think you don't measure up. Don't fall into despair every time a similar situation happens. Most guys go through this. But I don't think they beat up on themselves and replay every word or move made. Sometimes a man tries too hard to make him into something close to perfection. He is so guarded of his words and actions. If the woman is not receptive toward his slight advances, one he is along he goes back over every part of the date, wondering why more did not come from it. He decides he must work hard to be a man only a fool would leave. If this is your goal, then make darn sure you know what women want in a man.
The changes I am making are for myself. I am trying not to make it sound like I am just seeking approval from women at the cost of what I believe and should be. I do, however, agree with you saying that I am seeking a reward from, as you said, a woman who loves my company. I need to take my focus away from that and continue to work to make myself the best ME I can be.
The process of not taking personally is a tough one, but I know that I cannot take rejection personally. For the woman who I was making an attempt at, I know I brought my A-game for there was a high level of attraction. Why it went away I truly do not know. I just know that for the time I was trying to court her, I did very well. And I am going to build on that.
Originally Posted by sandi2
I don't know that I can agree with the idea of becoming a man only a fool would leave. It seem to me that all you hard work would be for some woman. Why not become the man you want to be? You are free to be a man you want to be. You don't have to impress some woman. As long as you Improve your male attributes firsts, than maybe you'll have time to consider anything else.
I hope that the changes I am making towards being the man I want to be is not being seen as an attempt to manipulate and coerce women into liking me. I mean, yes, I do want to be more attractive to women, but the changes I am making are not for show. It's not like the changes will go away once I succeed in dating and so on. The changes are redefining who I am and who I am becoming. How that attracts or impresses women is something that I cannot control. The exercising, the GAL activities, the hobbies, the positive mental attitude, it's all for me. I am working on making the changes and expressing them as genuine as I can. If it is perceived that I am only doing for show, then I need to put in more of an effort to make them for me, and not for her. I want to express that the changes I am making are genuine.
Originally Posted by AnotherStander
Originally Posted by Phoenix9
I don't think it's going to go any further with this woman. I feel like I am making a ton of effort and she is just not that interested anymore. It is what it is. I'm a little bummed out because of how things started, but this is the reality now. No use analyzing it.
P, don't get discouraged. Sometimes the chemistry is just not there for one or the other or both, and when it's not then there's no use pushing it. Try not to take it personally! The more women you go out with the greater the odds of finding someone you are attracted to that is also attracted to you. That's the goal is to find that combo, and until you do you keep trying. I went out on a lot of first dates, sometimes it felt like dating was the part-time job I had after my regular job, LOL! It took a lot of time and effort. At first you get upset over any perceived rejection, but eventually you look at it with a bit of clinical detachment.
You have a unique set of qualities that no one else has, and some women will find it highly attractive and others won't. You can't fault them for that, we all have our personal preferences. Tall or short, hairy or bald, fit or full, etc. etc. etc. When you find the right one it will have all seemed worth it.
Thank you for the words of wisdom and confidence, AS. It is a process and the more chances I make for myself, the more I get out there, the more experience I will get, the more likely I will find her. All of the negative feelings of rejection and so forth will go away as I continue. I know it will. I say that because I am not dwelling and beating myself up for my latest attempt. I brought my best to her and if she is no longer interested, there will be many others who are.
