Her text this morning when I did not respond to the text letter, does that change any of your perspective Sandi?
Sorry, but it does not change my mind. Her speech and actions are what we call "script", b/c it is so typical of the WW. Even if you agree to IHS, just as soon as she can work something out to be out of there, she's going to say she wants a D. As long as she benefits from the IHS, and OM is not putting out the $$ for her, then she'll probably stay for a while. IHS from a WS is a compromise, IMHO. One of my kids was IHS up until they filed for D (and there were no infidelity issues). I saw what it did to them and to the kids. After they each got their own place and moved on......their lives improved. But they could not move on until they got away from each other.
My SIL left her H (not for infidelity issues) and they each had their own house. I think it was about a year and half later when the reconciled. The success stories I remember all had one thing in common. The spouse who originally wanted to save the M had to lose his/her fear and let the other spouse go.
I think you need to be very firm in whatever you say. She's the one who is pushing IHS, and it's not with the intentions of repairing the MR. That's why she dangled that carrot in front of you to indicate she was stepping back from OM. As soon as you agree to IHS, she'll do like she wants to do and continue to lie to you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
