Gordie 23 one year after she dropped the D

[Gordie]

Gerda Roist OneArt Butterfly Neffer DNJ Yail

Gerda, no big sex talks planned but I welcome all the advice and will utilize it when the time is right.

Roist, we actually had some recent non sex related discussion about the confidence topic and how w wants me to be LESS cautious or as you say sheepish, more directed and more open.

Roist and one art, I think the suggestion to say it is okay to sometimes reject my advances is a good one; feeling like sex is obligatory is one part of the old marriage that we both want to leave behind.

I love OneArt’s advice about having a secret word or phrase that means “I am in the mood” is an awesome and playful one that I would love to introduce.

DNJ I think you also are right that she is also following my lead in certain things but I am also taking her lead in other things, where we are both trying to figure out the new dynamics of where we are and where we want to go and how we are going to get there.

Gerda, I agree with your caution about this is not the time for strategizing.

***

I have been thinking a lot about what Job wrote and the links she sent me about the reconnection phase.

I knew this phase would require being present for the other person, listening and being open.

The part I did not see is the one about humbling yourself.