FS: I hope your kids are better now, it actually sounds like a lovely way to spend a weekend smile I too think my dh is having a MLC and has taken it out on me. It's extraordinarily difficult.

One thing I've been thinking about recently is the whole GAL thing. I feel like I've always been a very busy person and so I was GAL before this whole thing started. And dh always really resented me for that. I wonder how much I used GAL to distance him though? Not deliberately but it is so easy to focus on other people instead of your husband, especially if your husband seems angry and critical of you. Anyway, now dh knows he has no right now to criticise me for GAL but he does take an interest and I tell him what I'm up to, and sometimes I try to include him (like with the talk I'm doing tomorrow). New is good, in my book. I'm not saying that you are similar in any way, but it's something I've been pondering a lot. I told my IC I was GAL and he said 'but you already have a life, a very full one'. And I realised that was so true. So my GAL is trying new stuff and meeting new people and going new places. In a funny way it does include dh because our weekly dates are places and activities I've not been to or done before. Hmm, I'd not thought about that so positively before! Anyway, sorry to mull over things on your thread, I just thought as a distancer I'd mention it. Incidentally I listened to a podcast recently and they called distancers 'blue' and pursuers 'red'. And the aim is to be 'green' ie in the middle. I found this really interesting.