Tell her "I have plans," or be the bigger man / parent and take care of myself and boys whereas she needed help?
Gut says channel R2C and say I have plans.
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Bo, I'm going to be harsh. I suspect many won't agree with me, so please take it with a grain of salt.
If you're looking for a "play" why are you even married. That's not a partnership. W has asked you in advance with plenty of notice in what you have presented as a respectful manner. She's not trying to upend your life with a last-minute assumption that you will bend to her wish.
So I vote you answer honestly. If you don't have plans, then I think it's fair to say, "Thanks for the advanced notice, W - I appreciate that. It looks like I'm free so I'll be sure to keep it set aside for the kids".This shows that your priority is your children and that it always will be.
I say respond to respect with respect. If you have any desire that the two of you will ever be able to turn this around or even coparent amicably you have to play fair back. Only play a fake "I'm busy" card if W is trying to bully you.
