I would like you to make a decision. I am not making any changes in my life other than starting my masters as soon as I hear they received my signature in agreement to start. Here are the options(if you have any other additional please let me know): we co-mingle in this house as we have been doing and figure out some financial things, or one of us moves out and we get attorneys and courts involved to figure out who leaves and how financials are divvied out. I would still like to do a separation if we go the second route legally. Too much has happened for me to want to make any drastic relationship decisions in my life right now. I would like to not talk divorce until we give each other time. Also, i refuse to remove anyone out of my current life situation right now. I’m too emotionally brittle right now. I just can’t do it. It’s keeping me afloat from completely losing it. We are on a break right now and need to focus on ourselves so that’s what we should be focusing on. Once we feel more stable on both ends I feel confident we will be able to figure things out and make the best decision. I can deal with staying here under the same roof. I need you to figure out what you can handle and keep that agreement. If we decide to live here together it needs to be amicably or else there is no point to any of this. You may be mad at me right now but I am still guarded and hurt too. I am doing what I need to do to keep from completely breaking apart and upturning this household. I can’t just forgive you and hope for the best in time you will get better. I can’t Anthony. You said it yourself, there are things that you have always done since we met that you need to change. Bc of your mother leaving as a toddler. I have become very self aware of that as well these past few weeks on how your childhood [censored] you up. So did mine which inevitably is coming back to haunt me in my marriage now. I am very guarded now bc I will not allow this to happen again. I will not make any big changes until I feel fully confident you can change. I have been trying to be so strong for the past 1.5yrs and I broke. I was able to start picking the pieces up but it’s a mask right now. If I start making changes I know I will fall apart and you and I will go with it. I know it in my heart. This is why we need this separation Btwn us right now until we can have time to let things die down. Give time for change to happen and have a clearer mindset. When we’re ready I know we will make the right decision.
