She told the kids we need to clean up the house. So far she hasn’t done anything but the kids and I have. My D was being disrespectful to my W. W hen starts to blame me that because I am still in the house. She said “when people separate they separate, not live in the same house.” I just ignored it, usually I would engage in that conversation.
Don't ignore it, stand up for yourself. As you said, she's treating you like a doormat. Like something she rubs the dog poop off of her shoes with. You are not a doormat, so quit acting like one. Read these threads on boundaries:
Next time she makes a comment like that then say "I am no longer going to tolerate your speaking to me that way. You can speak to me in a respectful manner or I am leaving the room and you can (cook, clean house, do laundry or whatever) yourself." Then if she keeps treating you the same then follow through with the consequence.
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I know people here have told me not to leave the house, but man the verbal abuse I get every once and a while is real hard to deal with. I jus feel like crying, I am trying to be strong but his has been going on for 7 months.
At this point if you move somewhere else you are just rewarding her bad behavior. So next time she wants more out of the divorce, or wants you to watch the kids so she can be with OM, or wants anything, what do you think she'll do? Treat you like crap, because you're letting her think that is how to get results out of you.
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Score all of this happened I use to be such a strong man. I didn’t take garbage from anyone, now I have become a doormat to her. All because she use to say that I never listened to her and that I had anger issues. So, I am trying to show her I am not that angry, controlling person anymore.
Boundaries are NOT about being angry or controlling. Read the threads I linked. You calmly state your boundaries, and you calmly execute the consequences when they are breached. Boundaries are you not allowing yourself to be treated poorly, that is not control, not at all.
