Rocky Road 2

[Miler]

Ok guys...MC update. You guys were right, that was rough.

Here are some bullets:
- W says "he's done complete 180s...he's like a different guy." MC asks, "in a good way?" W says, "yes, in a good way. I am just sitting back watch and just don't know where this is going to land."
- W says some days she feels like she can give to the M, other days she doesn't
- Says family issues, losing our foster child 1 year ago, and D18 leaving for college in a few months are very heavy, and make working on the M hard, some days easier than others
- W still feels a LOT of pain from previous 20 years. Says some days she feels like a jerk and "punishes" me because I now feel the way she did over the last 20 years.
- Does not want a D
- Has hope for the future, buts doesn't have a crystal ball...doesn't know how things will end up

90% of the session, I simply validated. I was vulnerable and disclosed where I was when questioned by the MC.

MC wrapped things up by saying, sounds like 1 partner (me) is focused on fixing what they see wrong with themselves and is invested in saving the R. The other partner (W) is sorta stationary. She wants to save the M, and is giving what she has to it, but on some days that's just stationary. MC asked if I could be patient. I said I could be patient, but we both acknowledged that it can be frustrating on my end. MC requested that we not make any sudden moves or become frustrated until next session (one week from today).

I feel like things are going well for me. I an continuing to do 180s and GAL. I feel like my W is still in a lot of pain, and continues to feel like she is tired of "giving" (which includes to me, the kids, work, etc....she feels like she has shouldered the burden for the majority of the M...which she has). I think we are a LONG way off from being stable and happy, but I'll keep plugging.

Again, and she acknowledged this in MC, baby steps...she's invited me on dates, she's initiated kisses, she's initiated ILY. Progress from 6 weeks ago.