Fantastic update. I too am sorry that things are moving so quickly with the sale but you are handling it like a hero. Throughout this you have been slowly rebuilding whilst trying to be there for the kids. None of us is perfect, and your sitch, like all of ours, s*cks, but I hope you can see throughout it all you have maintained as much, if not more, dignity as any human can expect to maintain.
Originally Posted by Adam04
I don't have hope for my marriage and I can still get bummed, but I know I will be okay. I am not a wreck from when I started. I can remember days within the last year I was married and I hated life. I didn't know all the whys or reasons why I got to where I was and I was miserable. My life hasn't drastically changed from all of that, but my attitude has. I think about this moment and my heart aches because I'm humbled.
There is truth in this ^^^. There are days when I still cry, and days when I don't think about him at all and other days when I think with pride at how far I've come and all things I've accomplished this past year, despite the heartache and the uncertainty. This is life for us right now. It will get better.
Originally Posted by Adam04
I may not be doing everything DB or know the best thing to say or do, but I am learning. I'm learning to be a better person, H, and father. These 180s are taking time. Not having to rely on someone else for everything from physically doing things to fulfilling an emotional need is liberating.
Db is not only a tool to try and save our M, they are also tools to allow us to mentally step away from the emotional rollercoaster our spouses create. It gives us time, and with time, perspective. We need to detach and rebuild our lives so we know that we learn that there is life after our spouses. That the world will not end and we will not die. It is a mental (and physical) stepping away from our spouse so that we can look at our M and our future objectively. The work has started for you, but the physical separation may be what you need to really examine your marriage away from the energies you both create and the many ghosts you two share.
Originally Posted by Adam04
It may not be the most socially acceptable thing to do but right now I have both boys in MBR sleeping in this big old bed with me. Both are sound asleep after we prayed and said good night to the whole world as the ending to our prayer.
There are not many nights when D9 does not end up in my bed though she always starts out in her own bed. I know that she does not even make a pretense of starting in her bed when at her dads. She just gets straight into his bed at bedtime . When H first left, D12 too use to come into bed with me. They need reassurance that we are still there. I try not to encourage or discourage, believing instead that one day she will start consistently sleeping in her own bed once again.
I would heed AS warning. Whilst the dinner could be a seen just like any dinner between two friends, the near constant texting sounds more like the early stages of courtship. Be sure this is what you want because if not, someone is bound to get hurt.
. When H first left, D12 too use to come into bed with me. They need reassurance that we are still there. I try not to encourage or discourage, believing instead that one day she will start consistently sleeping in her own bed once again. 