Phoenix ----You have very clearly stated so many of the feelings I have been having lately. It doesn't seem fair, does it? They seemingly move on so fast, If I'm honest with myself, the reason my H and HER are on my mind so much is in part that I'm jealous. He has someone to have that intimate contact with. I don't. I miss it so much! We slept in the same bed, spooning every night, for most of our married life, 27 years. The last 9 months he refused to have sex. He didn't want it to "just have it". He wasn't there mentally. But it's not even the sex I miss the most. It is all that skin to skin contact.
I'm jealous he turned me away, and was able to run back to her. Does he really have an intimate connection with her? Does it matter if I know or not? No, it doesn't.
Originally Posted by Phoenix9
I just wish I can have those thoughts 100% of the time. I hate the fact that I still feel needy and impatient.
If I think about it, my positive thoughts and experiences far outweigh the bad, but those bad SEEM to have way more control over me. I need to remind myself of the 80% that's good, instead of allowing the 20% to consume me.
And wanting those good feelings and intimacy doesn't make you needy. It makes you normal.
