World is upside down right now

[othstr]

I'm finally back to give an update. I have still been reading other people's threads, just haven't had the time to sit down and update. I had my little bundle of joy, a boy, which was a surprise as I didn't find out beforehand! He is the best thing in the world! He will be 3 months tomorrow and I return to work on Tuesday. I'm sad to be leaving him, but also kind of excited to have something to do on a daily basis.

I'll start off with how my life is going. First, I say that God has blessed me with the most perfect baby as I have already been through enough during my pregnancy. He is adorable and rarely cries, and at that, he just whimpers We have been able to go out and do so much because of this. We are constantly on the go, visiting with friends, out and about, I love it! We have gone on 3 trips, 2 road trips and 1 airplane trip to visit my brother and his family. I have started boot camp again and the crew knows about my situation, so they welcome the little man and my trainer just holds him while telling us what to do, and he loves it! I have such an extensive support army from all my friends and family, I honestly feel they love S more than my H. I feel like I GAL pretty well, I am rarely at home or just idle. I had a hair appointment the other day, I decided that I wanted a change to go with my changing life, I chopped my hair off, and it feels so good, I love it!

On to the H. He said he wants to be a part of S life. He was there for the birth and the days that followed at the hospital. His parents came from out of town to visit and he visited with them. So, he saw S for 4 days right after he was born, I thought he was going to hold to his statement about being in his life. Since then, he has only come 1 day/week, if that. Lately, he has gone 3 weeks without seeing him, and then 2 weeks without seeing him now. He is supposed to come over tomorrow. He is living with OW, and I just assume that he is wanting to spend more time with her than with his son. And he is getting so big and so much more fun. He is interactive and gives such big smiles, how could anyone go 3 weeks without seeing their newborn child?! When he does come, I am here. He has said he doesn't feel comfortable being alone with him right now. I try to keep myself busy and clean or do laundry, stay out of their way, but they are in the main living area, so it's hard. I try not to initiate any conversations, he will normally ask questions to me. I try to maintain the cashier stance, pretend like he is a cashier, be cordial, but don't offer too much information. He stays for about 3 1/2 hours. He doesn't contact me at all between his visits except to set up the next visit, minimum of a week later.

I did go meet with 2 lawyers about a month ago. I got some good info from them. My main thing is to make sure that S is taken care of, so custody and child support would happen first. I have no plans to move forward with D anytime soon, however, I am getting very frustrated with this limbo. I know time is our friend. But, the fact that he is off, having a great time, that assume and have no proof, is very hurtful. He has zero responsibility to our marriage or his son and is just off living his "fun" life. He has said absolutely nothing about D and moving forward with that. He has been having an A for over a year and living with OW for a year in May. I don't understand why he is just content with this situation when he was the one unhappy.

I have been reading a lot of threads, so many of them are about WW, I have found not many about WH. Can anyone lead me to a few? Do they think the same or differently?

Please ask any questions if you need clarification on anything. Thanks for reading.