peacetoday is correct. Most MLCers affair down, waaaaay down in some cases.
The OP is a difficult variable in this nasty MLC equation. My W ran to the guy who delivered eggs to the house. He (and she now) are my neighbours directly south of me. Less than one mile away.
This pillar of the community (ok better cut back on the sarcasm or I’ll get carried away) the OM stole his first wife. Yes I know this woman had a part in that also. The first wife past away from cancer. He then coveted and obtained my wife.
W and him are both broken people, desperately hanging on to each other trying to find a life and that elusive happiness.
At the time of BD and the revelation of the affair I just couldn’t get over being discarded for HIM! He is slow witted, unhealthy, unmotivated, a poor father/parent (I do feel for his son), everything I am not. However, as I said, at the time I really had a hard time seeing this.
W completely changed to her opposite, it stands to reason she would seek my opposite in an effort to run.
The other person, the affair itself, are symptoms of this MLC. OM/OW mean absolutely nothing! The affair mean nothing. It is not based on what you think an affair would be based on. Their relationship is build upon lies, deceit, morally questionable actions and justifications. This foundation is like sand, and will crumble as the waves of life, reality, and karma slowly crash against it.
This took me a while to see, to think that way, to understand. It took longer to feel that way. And even longer to believe it.
I do have compassion for W and even OM. Thier lives, seen through the small view I have, are not good. They are not happy. They are broken people desperate to find something. Something W had right in front of her.
I know you’ve read this before, and you are thinking this way. You see OW for who and what see is in all of this. You are doing very good Grace.
Keep your heading.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
