I actually wished my husband was dead more than once in the first couple of months after he left. I thought him being dead would have been preferable to him breaking my heart into tiny pieces.
Luckily, I'm mostly glad he's alive most days now Funny how much you realise life has improved with hindsight!
LOL!!!! I know the feeling. I have envisioned myself slapping the dog crap out of my H. It seems like that would feel so good. We want to inflict some pain on them so they can hurt like we hurt. Truth is, they are in pain. I told my H that I wanted to hurt him bad. His reply was, it would probably feel better than the pain I currently feel. They are a mess and in a lot of pain. But it still [censored] that they are hurting us because they are in pain.
Original BD: 10/26/2017 PA: 10/2017 - 11/2017 Second BD: 09/15/2018 Currently: IHS M: 42 H: 45 S: 22 lives on his own D: 18 away at college S: 15 still lives at home - the only child we share together
Funny how much you realise life has improved with hindsight!