YES! The 180 telling him when he does something positive that makes you feel loved would be huge! I think that's something I should be doing better actually, I've tried a few times but it sure doesn't come naturally. The most I've managed is texting a thank you for a lovely evening after a good date. I need to do more because I think (not sure) that his LL are acts of service and words of affirmation. I've been toying with how to say I appreciate his changed behaviour without it turning into a R talk, not sure where to go with that. I did thank him for cleaning the toilets the other day when I was away because that was big! The reassurance thing with your husband might be because he's not sure, and he feels guilty and also guilty about not being sure, no wonder that makes him angry, no? And yes, it does sound like you have a bunch of stuff to work through and maybe it might even be good for you if he's not around much for that? I don't think you have to have completely got through that stuff in order to be with him though, a loving relationship can help you heal.
The sleeping over: I'm biding my time I think. I've got very upset and insecure pretty much every time we've shared a bed, so I haven't exactly sold the idea to him (doh, though 2 of those occasions have been super hormone induced I think) He has at least agreed to share a bed with me a few times, and last time he said I could cuddle up to him. So I might need to share a bed with him in a more stable state before he'd agree to that, maybe a few occasions actually. I need to make it a pleasant experience for him to want to do it on a regular basis...
