Hi Dillydaf - I don't know what was happening with the quoting, but that wasn't Yorkie, it was me!
And yes - he accuses me of having tantrums too! And sometimes I did - I wasn't in charge of myself, or I was turning on the waterworks and wailing because if I couldn't get love, then I was pathetic enough to be willing to make do with pity. That is totally on me.
And sometimes I was just genuinely terribly hurt by his treatment of me, and when I cried it made him angry and he called it a tantrum, and that hurt too.
Thank you for the chat and the pursuer - distancer knowledge and experience exchange
Gosh, how weird! Not sure what the forum did there Thank you Alison!
Tantrum is a very judgy word isn't it? I'm sure I've been guilty of having tantrums myself and thought it was me being 'upset'. But it comes to the same thing doesn't it? A tantrum is when you're upset and unable to control your emotions and there's a large dollop of anger in there. I used to think my husband was more of a toddler than my kids EVER were when they were younger. A deliberate tantrum is interesting...Maybe he genuinely couldn't tell the difference? I need to think more about my husband's tantrums as expressing a need. Though his tantrums have been so much less since the separation, perhaps because I've changed my response and perhaps because he's controlling his emotions better.
So much food for thought about the different perspectives...
