Hmm FS, I can see that venting and wallowing are risks with an IC. But for me, the one thing I said to my IC was that I want him to CHALLENGE me. And he has and he does. So a lot of my time has been spent working out how not to feel like a victim and how to take control. So that has been helpful. But I had a previous IC a few years back when dh did a mini BD and she didn't challenge me at all, then dh got a bit better and it just felt like chatting so I stopped going. So I do think that it depends on the IC and your relationship with them, I feel comfortable enough with this chap that I will be completely honest with him and also have him ask me uncomfortable questions.
