Feeling a lot better than I did a couple days ago. I like the up days.
I got invited to a friends birthday "party" just some pizza and beer. I kinda went back and forth about whether or not I should go. I didn't want H to feel like he couldn't go because I would be there. But in the end, they're my friends too and if he's not gonna go just for fear of running into me, than thats his own issue to sort out. He briefly came home yesterday, for about 10 minutes again, and asked if I would be going and I told him I would. Then I asked him if he would be going as well? I got a quick response of "No I have other plans" and then he left. This is a group of friends that we've hung out with for the past 6 years, and its a "couples" group so I can see why he is kind of avoiding it. But at the same time, some of the people in that group he's been friends with since he was 14 and he's been avoiding them too. I think it's all part of his self reinvention. Its just kind of sad to see him drop his old friends for his new ones, but thats his choice.
I also hung out with his step mother last night. She seems to think there isn't an affair based on how often he's at her house hanging out with his dad. His dad tries to get him to open up about it but he just responds with "I just don't think I can fix what happened right now" Which is fair. He's in a personal internal crisis. Its gonna take time for him to sort these things out. He's still in the part where he's avoiding his problems so, its going to be a minute. Everyday I understand a little bit more about why I just need to keep walking in the opposite direction.
