Hi hope, sorry I must have posted at the exact same time you did yesterday! You're right, this is so helpful to see your behaviour and the marriage from an external position. My IC seems to just want to tell me that it's ok to have feelings. Well, yes it is, but being flooded is no good to anyone.
Feelings are fine. We should feel them. We shouldn't wallow in them though. Find ways to calm your mind. Breathing is good.
In the early days I couldn't sleep longer than a few hours. The endless thought tunnels, dissecting every word, every gesture, always thinking the worst and before I knew it it was 3 in the morning. It was hell. I was never asleep and I was never awake.
I saw an IC for a couple of weeks. It helped me understand me more - the unhealthy ways I handled confrontation. But after a few sessions I felt like the sessions spent with her was just an opportunity for me to wallow in my grief, to vent, and to see myself as the victim. So I stopped going because wanted I wanted and needed was to learn to forgive myself and to forgive him for the hurt we caused one another. The IC helped with getting my emotions out. Yoga and meditation are helping me to forgive.
Originally Posted by dillydaf
This morning I am tired, feeling pessimistic (not like me, I am so optimistic most of the time) and actually not really looking forward to seeing dh later. Hopefully we will have a nice time, I would actually just like to go for a walk and watch some TV or something calm like that. A bit of normality would be nice because I feel like this week has been a rollercoaster. This GAL stuff is tiring...
GAL'g at first is a distraction - a means to get yourself out and doing stuff. I sat through many dinners feeling like an outsider. Watching, listening, talking but not really there. It gets easier and it does balance out. At first every time he had the kids I had to go out, even if it was just to the movies on my own. Now, I often sit in and potter or watch TV. The thoughts still come, but I have learned to accept them, and then let them go.
