I hope tomorrow goes well. It sounds like you have a good plan.
Originally Posted by Grace21
This is tough for me, for sure. I’m a fixer, and I like to see the results in short order. I pray for patience. I pray for peace. I will continue to do so. I thought I had joy and some peace. I really did. But finding out for sure that my H hasn’t changed, worked on himself, and reached out to OW to help soothe him just sent me back, way, way back. I sometimes wonder why. I shouldn’t be surprised. I wasn’t really surprised. Then why such a huge setback for me? Something to think about maybe.
The setbacks are normal and ok. It is part of finding acceptance with something, asking the questions, and finding the answers. And yes, this is going to take some time. You will change, you will find your beliefs, you will find peace.
Something I found to be helpful. Be accurate in thought and heart. See things for what they are, and be accurate in how you phrase them. Be accurate in how you “see” you are feeling. And be careful in how you think and state things, it really does affect your mental state and that creates your reality. This strenghtens the beliefs you want and does not encourage one’s you don’t.
For example:
Quote
I thought I had joy and some peace. I really did. But finding out for sure that my H hasn’t appered to have changed, worked on himself, and reached out to OW to help soothe him just sent me back, way, way back.
You had some peace, don’t doubt yourself.
One thing in all this, there is not much that is “for sure”. At the time “feelings” are all certain. A while later they change and so does the outlook.
These are just some small efforts, with bigger impacts than would first appear. Now, I am not suggesting to change all your wording or anything like that. I believe authenticity is an awesome trait. This is more an exercise that will end up changing you and therefore the rest follow. Just strive for accuracy. When you feel a certain way, that’s cool. You recognize it, you know you feel it. Do you know it will pass? Do believe that?
That little accurate thought, that small step - feelings are fleeting and will change. It leads to so much.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
