Miler, that is why I asked you. I still occasionally go to my W's computer and check her Google account history (last time was about a month ago), and we have been reconciling for a year. And I have the same feeling as you. Afterward I feel cruddy, and beat myself up for not trusting her. And let's admit it, that is how we want to live, right? We don't want to be untrusting snoopers! We want to e able to trust our wives, take them at their word. Wouldn't that feel so much better?
I know it is hard, when that head starts spinning it is so hard to make it stop. But that means we are letting too much of ourselves be defined by the behavior of our wives. Hang in there. I went from spinning like that all day, to spinning like that maybe once every 4 or 5 months.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
