Rocky Road

[Miler]

I feel like I should have trusted her all along. I mean it is very relieving that she not engaging in any emotional attachment with someone else, especially when she has the opportunity with me out of town. However, she also promised me that she wouldn't see anyone else and would work on the M. My anxiety decreased significantly for like 2 hours, but in the long run, it didn't really help. It's my fear of abandonment that is driving my anxiety. I'm fearful that she doesn't want ME anymore. It's not about someone else for her, it's about I'm not meeting her emotional and love needs.

That's a long answer to your question, but long story short, I feel cruddy for checking, but I did help elucidate where my fears and anxiety is coming from. And there's only ONE answer to that issue...ME. I have to work on ME. I have to be a better Miler. She fell in love with ME a long time ago, and in and out of being in love over the last 20 years. I think that if I come a better version of that person, she'll fall in love with ME again.