Why would you delay responding to her for another day? That's just rude behavior, IMO. This lady is not your WW, She's a lady you want to date.
I'm still trying to balance and define "going slow" and not pursuing but still showing interest.
Oh, I gottcha. The way I see it is like this. She initiated a text message. So the polite thing to do would be to acknowledge it some way......if you are interested in seeing her again. There seem to be a few days previously where the two of you were doing quite a bit of texting. It can be tricky in the beginning as knowing how much or how little. IMHO, texting back & forth for hours is a bit much before you've had the second date. If I am getting acquainted with someone, I prefer the old fashion way and just talk over the phone, but that's me. Texting is so flat and it can easily be taken in the way it was not intended. .Whatever form is used, you have to decide how much is too much.....and I think timing will start to take hold when as you get more experienced.
When I think of "going slow", I think it not only means in the pace,,,,,,,like, how many times a week he contacts her, etc. But also how fast he gets serious. By "serious", I mean like thinking of exclusive dating, moving in together, getting M, etc. Is he getting all heavy right off the bat, or is he keeping things light & fun? How fast or slow does he try to get to physical affection? Having a little kiss at the end of the first date (if he senses she is attracted to him) is fine. However, pushing for sex on the first date, is too fast. See what I mean? I think you and your W went extremely fast when you met face to face. Don't set all your dates by that pace or measuring stick .....b/c it could make you come across as too pushy and/or having too much sexual expectations from your date. .
It is very difficult for me to explain in a few words what going slow means, but if you will ask questions, then maybe it would help me keep from writing a lot of unnecessary stuff.
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She got back to me after five days of silence. I'm sure she was busy. I feel like if I responded quickly afterwards, then she would take it as a sign of neediness and desperation.
Too busy for one call/text? Come on! I think she was waiting to see if you would contact her first. Since she made it clear she was not ready for a romantic relationship, you did the right thing by waiting on her. Showing desperation would be like if you were not waiting for her to text you, and you were pressing her every day. If at all possible, I think it is simply good manners to respond sometime within the same day. I realize this is pretty opposite of what you were told about texting your WW, but it's not the same sitch.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
