Dating before D, centralized discussion

[Davide]

Interestingly enough I had the opportunity to date someone who was still married. At the time we met she had been separated from her husband for just under a year and was waiting out this state's 1 year mandatory separation period before filing for divorce. She ended up filing a few weeks ago and either is now officially divorced or will be shortly (we parted amicably about 1.5 weeks ago.)

I had no qualms about it morally at the time and still feel the same. Her MR was just as over and dead as mine was despite what a piece of paper might have said. I would never knowingly date someone who was in a MR because that would be against my morals. But this is different. The only thing that gave me pause was whether or not she was really ready to date and be in a relationship, since, despite the longer time frame, she was still struggling to get to a healthy place.

That is the real issue. Are both parties emotionally ready and healthy enough to be in a relationship? There are plenty of people who are divorced, or even never married, who simply aren't emotionally available. It has nothing to do with a piece of paper and everything to do with putting in the work to love yourself and be happy and whole on your own. Only then can you enter into a relationship from a position of strength and abundance. When your cup is overflowing you have so much to share with another.

Ultimately, I don't think the woman I was seeing had reached that point, and she realized that as well. So, we parted ways and she was able to take more time to self-reflect and work towards a healthier place. She might be divorced by now, but she definitely isn't ready.