Midlife crisis wife

[Miler]

So true AS... most folks feel that "pressuring" them is asking them for temp checks, forcing R talks, forcing dates/touching, etc. before they are ready. However, the biggest form of pressure is looking for little things that they do or don't do as a "sign" of something. When I first went through this 4 years ago, that was the biggest form of pressure that she said I was putting on her. When we would have R talks, and I would list all the things that she didn't do or did do that looked as if she wasn't invested in recon, she would tell me...stop looking into to things so much. I feel guilty for things I do or don't do all the time now because I feel like you are constantly watching me.

Great points guys! Wolfman, self-differentiation and let go. You have to let go of the old R. Anything that happens between you and your W now will be a new R anyway...