Pax, I forget if you are living at the house but check my post to DnJ about AirB if you are able to offer a room in your house for travelers. It can be a game changer for having spare cash. I even just rented my whole apartment for a few days in April so I can afford to take my kids somewhere. (Not looking forward to telling H he has to leave for those days.) Also these rentals force you to really clean out your place!
About your looking at the photos -- this made absolute sense, and I think your realizing it is actually very real and true and healthy. It would be weird if it didn't make you feel that way. Honestly from a writing standpoint, that scene of you looking at the photos and feeling that way would be a powerful part of the story!
I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord with courage. Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
