So to be clear... when initial semi-BD happened 4-5 weeks ago, she was definitely cold and distant...like she didn't want to be around me. No initiating conversation, no smiling, definitely no interest in casual touching, ILYs, etc.
In the last 2 weeks, those behaviors have started to change. She definitely initiates conversation, she smiles and says hello when she walks into the house or room....however, there are definitely periods where she still goes cold or feels disengaged. We had sex on V-day. On Tuesday she invited me to lunch, first time since BD that she has initiated connection time. Yesterday before I left was the first time she initiated physical contact (gave me a kiss before I walked out of the door for a 4 day trip). Last night was the first time she initiated ILY (via text mind you). Signs of thawing, but again, I would assume I have a long way to go as she wants to know these changes are permanent.
Miler, there are different ways that recon happen, one way is the WAW has a "eureka" moment and suddenly decides she is back in and will do anything to "fix" things. The other is that she slowly comes back in phases. The problem with the 2nd type is it is hard to tell it from someone who is just "dangling the carrot" to keep the LBH on as Plan B. Right now it's kind of hard to tell which she is. What you need to do is just keep doing what you're doing. Don't be immediately available to her all the time. Keep up your GAL activities. Be mysterious about where you are and what you are doing. Keep being warm and friendly as you have been, but send her the message that you are your own man and living your own life. She can join you or not, that's up to her. But you are awesomely awesome regardless.
THIS!!!
And I will add, Miler if and when she works through the phases and is back 100% you will know. Mine was a "come back in phases" WW. Admittedly she came through fairly quickly, but I did what AS suggested and stayed the course until I knew for sure she was back.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
