I would see if you can get her to talk during sex or after. I think if she can do that, then you can make it clear to her that you would like her to initiate when she is interested and that she doesn't have to respond to your initiation if she is not. If she is tentative or wary, maybe she could give you a sign that she is interested and would like you to initiate. Maybe that lets her feel pursued and gives you the confidence you are pursuing at the right time. Trial and error. Just like everything else.
