So to be clear... when initial semi-BD happened 4-5 weeks ago, she was definitely cold and distant...like she didn't want to be around me. No initiating conversation, no smiling, definitely no interest in casual touching, ILYs, etc.
In the last 2 weeks, those behaviors have started to change. She definitely initiates conversation, she smiles and says hello when she walks into the house or room....however, there are definitely periods where she still goes cold or feels disengaged. We had sex on V-day. On Tuesday she invited me to lunch, first time since BD that she has initiated connection time. Yesterday before I left was the first time she initiated physical contact (gave me a kiss before I walked out of the door for a 4 day trip). Last night was the first time she initiated ILY (via text mind you). Signs of thawing, but again, I would assume I have a long way to go as she wants to know these changes are permanent.
And because of this I suggest staying the course. The lack of pressure and pursuit (read pursuit-distance dynamic) is causing her to pursue him. However, if he starts pressuring and pursuing her too soon she will likely retreat again.
LH, you know I respect you to the end of the earth! Do you think he should start pursuing back?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
