Dating before D, centralized discussion

[Dtrmned]

Just my 2 cents to add in based on my own situation.
Been at this a LONG time now. Bomb Drop Sept 2017, W filed and withdrew Feb 2018 in the same week, In home separation until she finally moved out November 2018. Nothing filed at present. I'm letting things sit MR wise and separating everything financially as it happens. I am doing well at GAL and convinced myself that I needed to just go out and date to prove to myself I was still a viable candidate. I got into the OLD profiles. Chatted a bunch and had to get through the bs that is out there. I even had some good back and forth texts with some very nice ladies. I got as close as actually scheduling a dinner date with one of them for the following week. I thought about it overnight then cancelled the next day. The bottom line came down to looking myself in the mirror. I made vows to my wife. I made vows before my friends, family and before GOD. All of that is important. But the bottom line came to facing my children (and myself) with my character and what is right. Good or bad I am still in love with my wife. I also realize that our marriage has a snowballs chance of going on to a new and better MR. For myself, I actually feel more confident by cancelling all of those profiles and concentrating on myself and my children. My wife is dealing with her own issues. I don't want to add to my own by bringing someone into my life when I am not ready for it and knowing that I do still love my wife. I don't think it is fair to them, to me, or to my children (not that I would have any intention of introducing them to my children for a LONG time). I just took that off the table. I do miss the intimacy, friendship and everything else that goes along with a relationship, but for me, now is not the time. My wife took her wedding ring off in May in an "in my face" display that it was "time for her". It was for her to see how I would react. I am not pining for her, nor am I doing anything to hurt her or get her back presently. We have VERY few interactions and since they are only about our children or finances they generally are not fun or pleasant. I DB all the time. Not perfectly, but way better now than in the beginning.

I have kept my wedding ring on and have decided that I will keep it on and will on take it off if and when a D is final. This is for no one else for myself and my children. They will know eventually how much it took to keep my principals. I don't flaunt it nor do I speak of it. I have had a few friends ask about it. I generally just brush it off. If the press, I tell them that it is my choice and I choose to honor the vows that I made. I am no martyr nor do I wish to be. But in the end I have to look at myself in the mirror and look myself in the eye knowing all that I have done.

Good discussion.