I don't think there is any question that you are a great father.
Respect starts with how you allow others/her to treat you. No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don't allow them to.
I would start with getting back to the basics. No contact unless about kids or finances. Answer only questions with yes or no answers. Then work on how she talks to you.
W: Hurt (with tone to her voice) "your'e doing it wrong" H: W, please don't talk to me that way W: what way? H: in that tone W: I'm not H: please don't do it again (walk away)
You have to get over the fear that what you do or do not say will change anything!
